Requiem for a Wet Dream Andrew: I couldn't sleep. Mint: Andrew, remember what I never told you! A scream can be music!ĭetective Florez: All right, it's clear what happened here: the pillow, in a fit of rage, threw the sexy child magician down the stairs. It's a cross between a dolphin and a poodle. Jesus Christ, what a thing to live up to.
#Index of big mouth s2 full#
I feel like I should tell your dad, but I'm scared he's gonna hit me in the head with that big pillowcase full of watermelons. I told some kid about that and he went on Shark Tank and made millions. Maybe that's how he came up with the illuminated toilet seat. He's probably gotta drape 'em outside the toilet. That's the weight, right? Pulling down the skin? I honestly wonder if he ever poops on his own balls. It's weird, too, because they're veiny but there's no hair. Maurice: Seriously, I was like, "why is your dad having sex with a messenger bag on?" and then I was like "oh, those are his balls." I can't get 'em out of my mind, you know? It's like, is he seeing a doctor? Because there could be something wrong. Dickarus is flying too close to the sun.Ĭonnie: If you need me, I'll be in the bubble bath watching Dr. I know if I was walking around with a red bra on my dick, I'd want somebody to touch my dick, right? Maurice: You're a little fuckin' freak. Jay: We can relieve Jessi of her horniness by touching her boobs! She'll be grateful. Jay: I'm not allowed back in that greenhouse. Jay: I also once fucked this really sexy bag of potting soil. Lola: Stop trying to make out with me, you lesbo! You're not my mom! Girls Are Horny Too Jay: There's no way girls are as horny as I am. They made me trim their pubes before they left because they are out there swingin' dicks and bonin' chicks. They're at some bitchin' high school party tonight. Nick: Where are Val and Kurt? Jay: Oh, man. Jay: Everything I know, I owe to my brothers. Sleepover: A Harrowing Ordeal of Emotional Brutality Devin: Oh my God, what are you, like, her mom? Lola: Yeah, are you gonna, like, divorce her dad and then marry some guy who lives in another state and then sometimes your daughter has to, like, Uber to school because it's cheaper for you to fly back on a Tuesday, or like what? Nick: Aren't you supposed to put the peanut butter on your own dick? Jay: Oh, wow. Jay: Okay, how about this: we'll say Jessi puts peanut butter on her dog's dick and licks it off. They're gonna think all you do is stick your dick inside other dude's dicks.Īndrew: This whole thing with Jessi, it makes you wonder, like, hey! Women! Do we even need them? Jay: What? Yes, of course we do.
No girl's gonna hook up with you if you're gay. Missy: Hey, Andrew, do you want to play Travel Scrabble? Maurice: Oh, she wants it so bad. I bet it's filled to the brim with dildos. Maurice: You don't know what's in that backpack. Especially when it comes out of nowhere with like zero context. Nick: I'm still figuring out what I want to send back. Nick: It's like fun and playful but also. I mean, the dog had a hat and a raincoat, tiny fishing pole. I mean, I sent her a text that said "hey" and she sent me a video of a dog dressed like a fisherman. Everybody Bleeds Jessi: Why do you smell so good? Connie: Because I don't wear deodorant and I only take bubble baths.Īndrew: So, have you heard from Jessie since the kiss? Nick: Yeah. I mean, sure, I fuck around with dudes, but I'm not a fairy. Nick: Are you the Puberty Fairy? Maurice: The FUCK did you just call me? Nick: The Puberty Fairy? Maurice: Puberty Fairy? I'm the Hormone Monster! I'm not a fairy. Now stare at that cat clock and massage your dinger. You're a perfectly normal gross little dirtbag. What the hell is wrong with me? Maurice: Nothing.
Maurice: Then why am I here? Andrew: Oh my God, you're always right. I wouldn't do that laying next to a friend. Maurice: And? Andrew: And I'm a good person. Season 1 Ejaculation Maurice: Knock knock, who's there? It's the Hormone Monster.
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